Attila the Hunk
He’s a huge, Viking of a man who is only missing the hat with the horns. He laughs with gusto; it is a laugh I would imagine booming from Poseidon’s mouth while stirring up a tsunami. What’s wrong with this guy? Other than the fact that I suspect his home is decorated with animal carcasses?* I have no idea. I scared him off before I had a chance to find out.
I had just met him at a single’s event at an outdoor concert. We were having a nice talk in the line to buy water. And then…. Okay, in my defense, it really sounded like Attila said, “I’ll get yours, too.” I said, “Oh…uh…thank you.” When he looked briefly confused, I realized with horror that he may have said, “I think I’ll get two.” Did I just trick a total stranger into buying my water? Oh my gosh oh my gosh! How embarrassing! Was there a way to fix this?!
So I plunged ahead with my standby, good ol’ honesty. “Wait,” I blubbered. “I’m sorry, I can’t hear well over the music. What did you just say?” This did not improve the situation any. In fact, it was a little like saying a stupid thing, and then holding up a giant flashing neon sign that says, “I JUST SAID A STUPID THING!” Now Attila was embarrassed, too, and I could sense he was trying to figure out a way to extract himself from this weird woman who was making such an issue of a bottle of water.
Attila ordered THREE waters and sort of tossed one to me. “Here,” he mumbled to the ground. “Thanks,” I mumbled back, also to the ground.
Poor Attila. He could conquer the tsunami, but he sure ran from that strange woman begging for water in line at the festival!
*I know this sounds like a stereotype. It isn’t. I later overheard him talk about deer hunting. The gist of the conversation was: Antlers are desirable.
Next Week: (Probably) The Ones I Left Out
Trust me: you don't want to get involved with a guy who likes hunting unless the sight of animal heads staring at you in glassy-eyed accusation is a turn on.
ReplyDeleteDisclaimer: My husband is a hunter.
WAIT. My husband hunts too. To ensure no animal heads reside in your home, quickly fill the walls with other decor, and there won't be any space for those heads (darn it). Then take up crafting. Did you know they make basket handles with antlers? Dang!
ReplyDeleteLOL, I've actually had this happen to me too. Strange women we are :)
ReplyDeleteJules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
I've noticed repeatedly that so many of the men with the best characters seem to be hunters. Why that would be, I can only guess. I just found out Attila is dating a friend of mine, so I'll let her know your helpful animal-head-hints! (I do know a woman who decorates/dresses up her husband's dear head that he insists on hanging over their fireplace)! And thanks, Jules, for taking a little of the neon out of my DORK sign!
ReplyDeleteWell...shame on him for being embarrassed. If he had made a joke of it and lightened up the situation with a laugh I'd say he's my kind of guy. Except for the dead animal stuff. Hunt away, I say, just be sure you keep it...you know...AWAY. LOL I don't like Bambi staring at me unless he's getting ready to run off into the woods.
ReplyDeleteLisa, you have a way of putting an unexpected twist on things! I love it!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to thank you for noticing it was my birthday, only 2 did. :D
ReplyDeleteJules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow
That's because you were a wee bit coy, Ms Jules! Hope you had a great day and wishing you a wonderful year!
ReplyDelete