Book Love

So sorry about my recent and unexpected blogcation. Every now and then I just get completely overwhelmed.

One thing that helped me get through the chaos, it turns out, was sitting down with LisaRicard Claro’s first book in the Fireflies Series, Love Built to Last. When the going gets tough, I often reward myself in ways that would make Pavlov himself proud, and this book felt like therapy (along with a little mall-medicating). In this case I did in fact salivate…over the story’s main character, Caleb Walker. Ooh, Caleb! How I wish he had a real-life, gracefully aging uncle!

Every now and then I read a book that draws me in like a hug from an old friend. I think about it when I’m not reading and plan how soon I’ll be able to relax and sink into the story. That was exactly how I felt about Love Built to Last.

Part of the magic of this story was that it explored not just the relationship between Maddie Kincaid and Caleb Walker, but a number of other relationships as well. Because this book was much more than a romance for me. It had quirky characters who were all connected. It had warmth, light, and nostalgia. It had a touch of Southern charm that brought back my two years living in Savannah, Georgia—yet it never felt regionally distinctive. It even had a story line about something else that's near and dear to my heart: rescue animals. It had a sense of humor, relatable scenes, authentic dialogue, and just enough heat to make the relationship between the main characters sizzle.

And it was just a whole lot of fun.

I’ve always admired Lisa’s clever and thought-provoking writing, but turns out she is also a master at crafting characters and their relationships. She captured small gestures and nuance so well that I was right there in the scene…and with no intention of leaving.

So how long before the next book in the Fireflies Series is out again?

Also, I am excited to report that my piece, “Powwow at CampSmooshabosom” is over at Sasee along with Linda O’Connell’s “Halloween Cats on the Prowl.” Be sure and stop by for a real Halloween treat!  

Writing is seduction.  ~Stephen King, On Writing

Not So Rose-Colored Glasses

I’m not sure now if I was so much blessed with perfect vision as I was blessed with a mother who wouldn’t allow her children to have anything less than perfect vision. Regardless, I didn’t wear glasses until my mid-forties.

The way my self-delusion came crashing home is recounted in my story, “Dare to Enter” in the hilarious book, Your Glasses Are on Top of Your Head: Tales of Life, Longevity, and Laughter, now available.

The good news is I have developed such a smooth routine with my glasses that I no longer give them—or my aging vision—a second thought. That is, until the other day when I pulled them from their customary storage place (the unused cup holder), put them on...and they just didn’t improve my vision any. As in at all.

My doctor always asks me if I’ve experienced any sudden vision changes. I’d never given it much thought before, but now I did. What do sudden vision changes mean? I ran down the whole list—at least the list within my knowledge. Diabetes? Glaucoma? Retinal detachment? Probably a whole bunch of other horrible ones I don't even know about! My breathing grew more rapid with each one.

I’m Facebook friends with a woman who seems to have all sorts of weird medical disasters befalling her. One of them was when she experienced sudden detachment of her retinas. The way she told it, she was just hanging out and her retinas suddenly decided to depart, introducing for me the alarming possibility that body parts can just randomly flee. She always describes all of her health issues in detail, complete with pictures. It seems to me she was left in the hospital for the longest time, suspended facedown and immobile, in order to help preserve her vision.

It was so horrifying, hundreds of people “liked” it.

So I started to panic there in my car. I can’t afford a night in the hospital, let alone weeks! And dangling face-down! What would I do?! And worse—my vision was not only blurred, but dimmed! What did dimmed vision mean? I thought of movies where dying people coughed and whispered melodramatically, “It’s…it’s getting dark.” It was almost like….

Oh. I said it aloud in my car because I also talk to myself these days. Then I started laughing—something I’m afraid I also do by myself sometimes these days. Sunglasses, is what it was like. Non-prescription ones. The ones I’d accidentally put into my cupholder where the driving glasses go. So technically the glasses were on my face and everything, but they were just the wrong ones.

Who knew old age was so entertaining? Don’t forget: Your Glasses Are on Top of Your Head, edited by Brenda Elsagher. You might even find yourself randomly laughing for a long time afterward.

I learned at fifty I had joined the army of unwanted men. ~Ray Brandbury, Farewell Summer

Succinctly Yours Week 213: Mmm mmm Good…Heavens It’s WHAT?

I’m back again with Succinctly Yours, a delightful meme offered thanks to the hospitality of Grandma’s Goulash. Each week, Grandma thoughtfully prepares a photo for us so that we might cook up a story of 140 words or 140 characters or fewer. The bonus word this week was “vulture.”

Life was a fairytale until Hansel and Gretel’s sensational, tell-all memoire, The Witch Who Cooked With Children came out. Folks ate up those lies like vultures.  136

I always thought Mama called it Vulture Soup because of the way we circled around her when she made it. Many years later I realized Mama was more literal than that. 134

I hope you will consider going over to www.laughuntilyoupee.com, the blog that features stories from the “Not Your Mother’s Book” (NYMB) humor anthology created by Dahlynn and Ken McKowen. To date, there are ten books available in the series, and I’m proud to say I’ve contributed to five of them. This week, my story “Worse Than Zombie Warts” from Not Your Mother’s Book…On Being a Woman is here. 

Thank you so much for visiting!

“…laughter is carbonated holiness.” ~ Anne Lamott, Plan B Further Thoughts on Faith

Differences Between Cats and Dogs

In honor of Not Your Mother's Book...On Cats coming out next week, here are

Ten Differences Between Cats and Dogs:  

1. Love

Dog: You exist! And Yay, you feed me! And you exist! I love you so   

much!

Cat: I love you when you pet me, but don’t stop too soon or I’ll be really mad. Also, don’t pet too long or I’ll be really mad.

2. Tummy rubs

Dog: Yay! I’m in heaven!

Cat:  Touch my stomach, you #@*&!, and you die.

3. Meals

Dog: Yay! Kibble! NomNomNom…!

Cat:  Excuse me? I ordered the pate you gave me last February. This seems to be more kibble, which I’ll eat this one time, but tell the chef I am heartily displeased.

4. Snacks

Dog: I’m supposed to get my snack at 8:00 PM. It is now 7:43.

      Pleasepleaseplease can I have it now? How about now? Can I have the     

       snack now?

Cat: I’m supposed to get my snack at 8:00 PM. It is now 7:43.

       Pleasepleaseplease can I have it now? How about now? Can I have the     

       snack now?

5. Petting 

Dog: Yay! I got a pat as you walked by, and now I’m even happier!

Cat: Don’t you dare just pat me as you walk by. I expect a full-on Swedish massage until I dismiss you, via attack to the hand.

6. Angst

Dog: Huh?

Cat: I am unhappy about something, or maybe not. But as long as you’re trying to get some work done, I’ll just circle the house making this noise that makes your skin feel like it crawled off your skeleton and hid in a toaster thrown into the bathtub. Because I can keep it up for hours.

7. Sleeping In

Dog: Go ahead and sleep in! I’m just happy to be near you. We’ll wake up when you’re ready.

Cat: Here, let me insert my litter box-walking-paw into your nostril, because it’s already 4 am, and I want you up. That 5:00 stuff just won’t do.

8. Writing  

Dog: Oh, yay! When you’re at the computer, I like to lie at your feet!

Cat: Whatcha doin’ at the computer? Huh? Whatcha doin’? Whatcha doin’? Whatcha doin’? Watcha….

9. Work

Dog: Bye! I’ll miss you and count the seconds until you return!

Cat: You’re leaving me? Okay, if that’s your little game. I think a single poop-ball in the doorway to your bedroom will eloquently convey my feelings on this matter.

10. The word, “No”

Dog: I’m so sorry! Pleasepleaseplease forgive me! I promise I      

will never, ever do it again!

            Cat: Did you say “no” to me? That will not do. Please turn your back so

I can run up and bite your legs.  

 Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods. ~Christopher Hitchens

Doubly Dyed in the Wool: Book Signing and Succinctly Yours #174

This is one of the few times I can say to anyone living in an exotic location: Too bad you don’t live in St. Louis, Missouri, because you really missed out on a great event last Tuesday. The Not Your Mother’s Books combination book signing event (NYMB…On Being a Mom and NYMB…On Family) was about as perfect as these things get. We were graced with uncharacteristically cool weather for July—which was a gift all its own because of the way the crowds spilled out of the independent and community-minded bookstore, STL Books, and onto the sidewalks of quaint, historical Kirkwood.

Wine and the most delightful little nibbles and noshes were served while NYMB...On Family coeditor Linda O'Connell circulated around exclaiming, "Eat! Eat!" Several contributors read their humorous stories. If that weren’t awesome enough, owner Robin Theiss donated 10% of all sales proceeds to Family Resources Center in support of their work to reduce childhood abuse and neglect. I admired the selection of books offered in that lovely store: classics, popular, children’s, local. Perfect. And as luck would have it, they ship books! Check it out if you’re so inclined.

Thank you again to NYMB coeditors Linda O’Connell and Dianna Graveman!

Succinctly Yours #174: Baa Wow

Many thanks to Grandma’s Goulash for herding us together once a week for Succinctly Yours, where willing participants are called to spin yarns of photo-inspired microfiction that is sheered down to 140 words or 140 characters. The bonus word this week was “quantify:”

After Granny’s eyesight went, it was hard to quantify the joy she received from her dog, Wolfie. So no one told her that he was, in a sense, a sheep in Wolfie’s clothing.  138

I find I have…a tendency to overwrite, to use two or three words where one will do better. I have to go back and cut and cut. ~John Steinbeck