Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Improper Poll: Waiter, What is That in My Soup?

Last week, Valthevictorian mentioned she ate Hair Soup. But it was a clean hair.

No offense to Val, but that’s just not remotely gross in my book. We have a dog that sheds so massively, I hate to think how much of his hair probably makes it into our food. And I wouldn’t call it clean, either.

But the worst thing I ever ate was when I made some stew. The recipe called for ground pepper and paprika. After I’d eaten most of a bowl, I noticed that the pepper looked too…uniform. And it had an odd sheen to it. Let’s just say that, after I examined my stew (and then the paprika) with a magnifying lens, I lost my appetite. For at least ten years—at least when it came to stew. I still can’t touch beef stew without examining it closely.

Have you ever found anything disgusting in your food?


  1. Soda both times, Taco Bell first time, I caught a 'fish bone" in my throat. It was a broken fingernail. Gag me!

    Traveling, we stopped at a gas station for a Pepsi, the best I'd ever tasted. I raved on and on about the wonderful distinct taste. Drained it dry, opened the lid to crunch ice and saw a hairy wolf spider. I littered, flung that cup!

  2. I know most "rural folks" will scoff, and it probably won't count since I was not eating this at the time, but I remember shucking corn as a kid, and found a huge caterpillar-like insect gobbling up the ear of corn. Because I was a silly young kid, I was grossed out.

  3. Yuk! I think I'll examine everything closely before I put it in my mouth from now on . . .

  4. Linda WINS! I've been lucky to only ingest my clean-haired soup.

    I'll see Sioux that corn caterpillar and raiser her a fat green tomato hornworm. That nasty critter looked at me over the top of a tomato I was picking off the vine. He had already eaten the back half of the tomato. My husband heard my screams, and walked to the rescue. He grasped that four-inch worm, as thick as my finger, between his thumb and forefinger. It turned its head and bit him! He squooshed that varmint so fast that a gush of tomato-seedy guts shot out of it. We have not had a garden since that incident.

  5. LOL, OMG yes! Let's just say hand peeled potatoes, emphasis on "Hand." Needless to say I don't eat potatoes out with the peeling in the mashing. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  6. Eeewww....y'all have succeeding in ruining my appetite for breakfast. I won't even consider eating until I've examined everything. Ugh! Shuddering now.

    The animal hair doesn't bug me (though I go to great lengths to keep a clean kitchen). Still, with two Labs (mixes) and three cats, all year-round shedders, it would be foolhardy to assume there is never any fur in the mix. So the joke is that everything tastes better with a little dog/cat hair in it. And now that I see that in actual writing, I may never eat my own cooking again. Blech.

  7. You guys are SO funny!! But oh, Jules, really??! And Linda, LOL about that spider flavoring. And I do know that tomato hornworms are a sight you never forget, Val. Sort of Disney-Pixar-Meets-National-Geographic. Btw, I do keep a clean kitchen, too (other than mail piles)! I figure my paprika had to have come with the bugs in it. I will never again use a spice without examining it VERY closely!

  8. Ewww.
    I once drank a soda and found bug parts in the bottom of the bottle. Very gross.

  9. We occasionally go to Chili's for dinner, and I ALWAYS examine every piece of lettuce in my salad to make sure there are no rotten pieces. If I find one, I get a FREE dessert!


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