Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Improper Poll: The Candy Man

Today while I was in the grocery store checkout line, the Checkout-Dude asked me if the candy I was buying was for Halloween or for “personal use.”

At first I was speechless. I was buying four large bags, so all sorts of retorts crossed my mind. Ultimately I blabbed out the truth: it’s supposed to be for Halloween, but the reason I buy it so late is to prevent it from being personally used. Then I heard myself saying, “I try to hide it from myself, but I always find it.”

Sad to say, this is true. I also try buying the kinds I don’t like, but that’s pretty hard since I like pretty much everything, including Almond Joy—which, let’s face it— almost nobody seems to like.

Don’t you think he wouldn’t have said such a thing if I looked like I routinely snack on four large bags of candy? That’s what I’m telling myself.

Are you able to resist the Halloween candy? Any tricks I should know about?


  1. We don't get trick-or-treaters out here in the sticks. But your tale reminds me of an experience at work.

    I used to operate a year-round fundraiser out of my classroom after school. I sold soda and candy and Little Debbie cakes to middle-schoolers. I figured they might as well put money in my classroom pocket as go up the street to the store. And they were always getting caught trying to sneak into the room with the soda machine. My little venture garnered enough money over three years to buy two computers, a TV, VCR, DVD player, printer, ink cartridges, and rewards for my students.

    One day, as I was getting supplies out of the cabinet, one of my students spied the four see-through tubs of candy stacked on the shelf. "Do you really like candy?"

    She knew I sold that stuff. So I called her bluff. "Why do you ask? Do you think I LOOK LIKE I really like candy?" She backpedaled a bit, stammered how she forgot that I sold it. But SHE KNEW that I KNEW what she was up to. Which is all it takes to form a truce with a middle-school girl.

  2. No. Sadly, I used to steal my kids' good candy. In the still of the night, while they slept soundly, I would rummage in their bags, the cellophane crinkling, looking for Hershey bars and Milky Ways and Whoppers.

    We got Smarties this year. Neither one of us like them, so we'll be sure to give it all away before the evening is through.

  3. If it's in the house, I'll eat it. Even if it's cardboard and it's covered in dark chocolate, I'll eat it.

  4. Well, either I'm a tight wad or on a diet, I only bought one large bag. But just him asking is why I tend to go to the self serve lane. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  5. Way to corner that cheeky child, Val.

    Sioux, I used to do that too until they were about four and had the uncanny ability to look at the giant pile and know when something was missing. I'd hear, "I used to have 6 Tootsie Rolls and now there are only 5...MOM!" Like I shouldn't get the measliest payment for hauling them all over the neighborhood, usually while it was sleeting.

    Linda, I hear that. I once ate expired baking chocolate from the back of the pantry.

  6. Since we never get trick or treaters and now that there are no children living in the household, I don't buy "Halloween" candy. Maybe there is an advantage to having those rug rats in the house.

    It wouldn't matter what I bought, I'd eat it. However, for some reason I can refrain from eating chocolate chips or any kind of baking stuff. Oh and hiding things on myself doesn't work too well for me either :-)

  7. My husband hid the Hallowe'en candy from me this year. He buys things he likes because we get so few children down here at the end of the street. This year, he got chocolate bars, the kind I like, too, so he had to hide them.
    I'm really not TOO bad with candy, but you should see me go through chocolate chip cookies. Total addiction.

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie’s Guide to Adventurous Travel

  8. Halloween candy is just another temptation and lately it seems like I can't resist anything. Just this morning I decided to start listing whatever I eat, just to shame myself into some sort of restraint. Unlike most years, I haven't opened a single one of the candy bags...yet.

    Critter Alley

  9. Can't do sweetarts anymore... give me sour belly. ;D Can't resist tootsie rolls.

  10. Hubby loves Almond Joys, so he snatched those before we dumped all the candy in the big bowl. We didn't get as many trick or treaters as usual, so we have lots of left over. One year I froze the leftovers in our freezer in the garage to dish out to the grandkiddos during the year. Then I fogot about the candy and wound up throwing it out.

  11. Can't believe he asked you something like that! I try to buy candy I don't like, but that didn't work this time. Reese's, Kit-Kats, and Hershey bars were in the bag. *sigh* I was doomed before I ever opened the package.

  12. Lynn, you are lucky. You're also lucky you didn't haul home half a cream cheese cake. ;(

    Kay, I used to ask my children to hide candy until I saw the look of utter terror in their eyes. They know what I'll do to them if they won't tell me where it is.

    Pat, that's very impressive!

    Yes, WilyBcool, Tootsie Rolls are delicious. Those give me a condition called "large belly."

    Donna, I'm impressed. I could never forget about candy, let alone throw it out.

    Yes, Lisa, unfortunately brussels sprouts don't go over well with trick or treaters, or I'd be safe.


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