Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

A Passive Aggressive Post About Passive Aggressives

Forgive me. I’ve just been dealing with so many of them lately...though I can't figure out if I actually draw them, or if there are just a lot out there. Here are:

10 Things People Have Actually Said to Me:

1.     Woman who was discussing plastic surgery with someone else at the table, suddenly turning to me: “I bet I know what you’d have done! Boob job, right?”

2.     Same woman from #1: “Why don’t you get your dog shaved? Maybe they could make him look like something! Because you know MY dog is a genuine Bichon Frise! We paid ONE HUNDRED-SEVENTY-FIVE dollars for her!”

3.     Ditto again:” “Did you make that?”
            Me: “Uh…yes.”
“I could tell.”

4.     And my personal favorite from, you guessed it: “I heard your grandmother died and you got her furniture! How wonderful!”

5.     Above woman’s husband: “Who cares if our dog poops in your yard? She’s so small.”

6.     Different woman who asked to see my garden, pointing to a plant: “Is that supposed to look like that?”
Me: “Yes.”
“Oh. Huh.”

7.     Same woman in the same garden: “Is that something?”
Me: “Yes.”
“Oh. Huh.”

8.     Garden woman again, after I’d moved to a new house: “So are you going to make your garden nothing but pink again?”
Me, laughing: “Yes. I do like pink and purple.”
“Oh. Huh.”

9.     Another one: “So what is your daughter’s major again?”
Me: “Biochemistry.”
“And does she have a boyfriend?”
Me: “I don’t know. She did, but I think they just broke up.”
(With conciliatory tone) “Well, don’t worry. I knew girls in college who sat around and did nothing but study, and they turned out to be just fine!”

10.  Same woman from #s 1 and 2: “I’m thinking about breeding my dog. Because you know she is a genuine Bichon Frise, and we paid ONE HUNDRED-SEVENTY-FIVE dollars for her!”
Me: “Oh. Huh.”


“Oh. Huh.” ~Pretty much every passive-aggressive I’ve ever known

“She was a one-man verbal wrecking crew.” ~Overheard in Dr.’s office waiting room

14 comments:

  1. Hari OM
    some folk just have a way with words. That'd be you. Not 'her'.... (nothing passive about that, right? &*>) YAM xx

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  2. Tammy--That is quite a collection. If they were said to me, I don't think I could have mustered the same level of self-restraint as you.

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    1. Who says I showed self-restraint? LOL. But passive-aggressives operate on denial, so when confronted they always become the victim. They were only trying to help, and you are so mean, etc. What can you do? Write about them, for starters....

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  3. Maybe you should ask if that dog is supposed to be so small...

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    1. It's funny, but she assumed that because I had a mutt, I didn't know anything about pure breeds - when the truth is I attended dog shows the way some kids probably went to baseball games. I evolved into mutts due to enough bad experiences to drive me toward a sort of pro-mutt activism. And the irony was that the puppy mill her genuine bichon had obviously come from had seen at least one errant poodle.

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  4. Sounds like these folks could provide you with a wealth of character material. And as a bonus, just think of the things you could do to them...

    Pat
    Critter Alley

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  5. OMG they are everywhere. You are nicer than I am. I'd have bitten back. I saw and heard some interesting things yesterday at a fall festival. They are out there, beware.

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    1. They ARE everywhere. And I am not "nice" in that sense. I am, however, honest...and have no intention of changing.

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  6. Hilarious post, probably not so funny living through those conversations, though. Did your "wanna slap you" hand twitch at all during any of those exchanges? lol #4 about killed me. One of the weirdest conversations I've ever had was when my youngest was about 9 months old. She got the fair genes from the German side of the family, so while my husband and I, and our other two kids, are all dark---eyes and hair---Christina is blond with blue/green eyes like my Mama. We had taken the kids to a festival and were waiting in line when the lady next to me made mention of how beautiful Christy was, and then she leaned close and whispered, "Are you going to tell her?" Confused, I said, "Uh...tell her what?" The woman gave me a look and said, "That she's adopted." I just stared at her, speechless. 24+ hours of labor told me the kid hadn't come from an orphanage. I of course told the woman my daughter was not adopted, but could tell by her conspiratorial nod that she didn't believe me. People. Are. Nuts.

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  7. It's amazing what people say out loud these days...

    Noodle and crew
    www.afewsmallstories.blogspot.com

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  8. I wonder how people think it's okay to be so rude. I like Lisa's statement: People. Are. Nuts.
    They. Are. Indeed.

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  9. This is a great post, Tammy -- funny, in some ways, because you have such a delightful way of telling a story, but not so funny when actually living through the experiences. You have turned something hurtful, though, into something positive by writing about it. And I agree with both Lisa and Lynn, people are nuts -- and rude -- and they almost always will show their true colors when given enough time.

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