Writing Woes, or Writing Whoas…or Merely Woeful Writing?

As I mentioned last week, I was on Craigslist browsing for a handyman. But I just happened to look up people who were advertising themselves as writers for hire.

I was not disappointed.

Keep in mind these are real, actual ads. For writers. These are direct pastes. I promise I have not changed a single word here or made up any of this. I’d link to them directly, but I’m sort of afraid they’d trace me and come after me. If they can dangle modifiers, mangle phrases and butcher sentences this badly, what would they do to me? So I will leave you with a few, word for word, that are apparently from the same person or group. I put the titles in boldface. I’m not going to comment after, because that seems like gilding the lily. Or spitting on the skunk, in this case. Also, I simply don’t know what to say. Perhaps you are left less speechless than I am and can shed some light on this:

You will become most popular student in your class:

If you are average student in your class and you want to be popular student in class. You have many projects to do. But you are not able to accomplish your project. Then we can help you. We will make fabulous and attractive projects for you, so that your project will become the best in your class. And you will become the most popular student in your class. You will feel good by seeing our projects.

Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps:

Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps: If you have so much writing works to do. Or have so many projects to complete. And by these reasons you can't complete your sleep then we can help you. We can do your work. We have a team of professional writers. They will accomplish your work, so that you can complete your sleeps. By our help you will never compromise with your sleep, because we will complete your work. You can sleep stress free.

We will save your time: (We will save your time:)

We know that time is so important. If you have so much works to do. But at the same time you have to complete you assignments or project. Then what will you do? We know that projects and assignments are so time consuming. So at that time we can save your time by doing your projects we can accomplish your assignment or projects. And you can complete your other works. So by our help you can save your time.

  

our qualified writers can solve your writing woes:

We have qualified writers. They can easily solve your problem. They can easily accomplish your work. It is so essay for them. If you are suffering from your writing woes, then we can help you we will solve your problem. We will feel happy by seeing our work. You will never disappoint with us. We always had done a fantastic job. Our customers always feel happy with our work. They never feel any complaint with our work.

Often audacity, not authentic talent, confers fame on an artist. ~Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way