Well those high-rise apartment dogs should be showing up any
minute now, because I decided she is right. I’m working on my new business, "Pupfume." I’m thinking about shaping the bottles like
little fire hydrants. But first things first! To begin my business, I am of
course doing the very most important thing and naming the scents.
Please feel free to preorder by sending me large amounts of
cash. Nothing but the best for those high-rise dogs! If you don’t see the scent
of your dog’s choice below, please do offer suggestions. All fragrances come,
of course, in Eau de Toilet:
Ten Names for Dog
Perfumes
- Guerlain’s Shallowmud or
Elizabeth Arden’s Pew Grass. Or possibly for the manly dog, Old Spit.
- Dolce & Gabbana’s
Light Pew
- Cool Lake Water
- Calvin Klein's Escape 1 (from the Dogcatcher) and Escape 2 (from the Fence)
- Juicy Carcass Couture
- Evening in Garbage
- J’adore la Pew
- L’Air du Romps
- Burberry Butt
And for the really discerning
French dog,
- Chien-Smell #5
Yesterday I was a
dog. Today I’m a dog. Tomorrow I’ll probably still be a dog. Sigh!
There’s so little hope for advancement.
~Charles M. Schulz
Tammy--The list is hilarious and so true.
ReplyDeleteHow about "The Dead Deer Hunter" (since you included another movie and since dogs love to roll around in dead deer carcasses)?
I didn't realize one was also a movie name, but I like your marketing strategy. "Dead Deer Hunter" ought to be especially appealing to sporting breeds!
ReplyDeleteWhoopsy. I saw "Cool Hand Lake" instead of Cool Lake Water. My bad! ;)
DeleteCool Lake Water is probably too subtle a fragrance, anyway. I'm thinking the dogs would prefer yours.
DeleteHari OM
ReplyDeleteCount me in fur some Eau de Canine! YAM xx
Simple, yet elegant. I like it!
DeleteThis is such a funny post, and so timely!
ReplyDeleteDo you have any names for when a skunk sneaks into your garage and sprays? Not that it happened here the other day or anything like that. Just curious. ;-)
Oh, Donna. I think that's called a catastrophe. I assume it would be easier to get skunk smell off a dog than out of your garage, because at least a dog is fairly localized. There has to be some kind of product that would help, right? Best of luck!
DeleteI think you could expand your line to include Man's Best Friend Mouthwash. What cocker spaniel would not like to start the day gargling with a flavor such as "Pieces of Feces?" (Not hatin' on the cockers, but every one I have been around has been a poop-eater!)
ReplyDeleteOoh, yeah! Like Reece's Pieces, only Feces Pieces, huh?
DeleteHaha -- This is truly inspired. I love L'Air du Romps. Still laughing over that one. Brilliant. How about Lancome - La Vie Est Smell?
ReplyDeleteOh, tres bien!! You are the master!
DeleteOh stop! Send me oxygen; I am gasping from laughing at the results of your brilliant mind at work. these are hysterically funny.
ReplyDeleteLike you, your comments are so much fun! Thanks for visiting, Linda.
DeleteNow those are some really scrumptious scents, certain to appeal to every dog.
ReplyDeletePat
Critter Alley
Glad you like them, Pat. Thanks for visiting!
DeleteI am still laughing over this post, Tammy! My fave is Chien-Smell #5. Would that I could afford that one! And hey, to tell you the truth, this doggy cologne is not such a bad idea -- for real!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Theresa! I did own dog colognes when my dog was alive, but they smelled good. To me, anyway. It was clear he wasn't thrilled.
Delete