Succinctly Yours Week 227: How Nursery Rhymes Were Hatched

Many thanks to Grandma of Grandma’s Goulash for hosting Succinctly Yours. Participants are invited to tell a story of 140 words or 140 characters or fewer based on the photo. This week’s bonus word was “nitpick.”

Mother Goose got her start with the military cadence she used to march her brood. She was a real stickler and was known to nitpick when it came to waddling out of step.  136

The Gooseworth Chant*

I don’t know but I have heard

Geese are really the very best bird!

Sound off, 1, 2

Sound off, 3, 4

Sound off 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12… and more!  126

*I looked up the original “Sound Off” and discovered it’s called “The Duckworth Chant.” How perfect was that?

In the beginning, you do need a lot of discipline—until you discover that you want to write, need to write, and that the work of writing is a lot easier than the work of not writing. ~Joel Saltzman in If You Can Talk, You Can Write

Just When You Thought You Were Safe from Brownies

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about Ruth and her work on the Brownie’s Pyrotechnics Badge. Sad to say, that one has been discontinued along with

10 Other Rejected Brownie Badges

1. Feeling Good About Me Thanks to Cosmetic Surgery
2. Fun with Neurotoxins
3. Land Mine Mazes
4. I Was Born to Procreate
5. First Aid Emergency Heart Surgery
6. Safety First Nuclear Waste Disposal
7. Sewage and Singalong
8. Beginner Pole Dancing
9. Funeral Direction Fun
10. Let’s Put the “U” in Urology

Take me or leave me; accept me or walk away; love me or hate me…but don’t make me feel less of a person if I don’t fit your idea of who I should be. I am me and I love me as I am! ~ Rishu Rajput

Succinctly Yours Weeks 226 and 225: A-Maze-ing and Leap of Faith

Many thanks to Grandma of Grandma’s Goulash for hosting Succinctly Yours. Participants are invited to view the photo and take the plunge by constructing a story of 140 words or 140 characters or fewer to go with it. I am cheating this week by throwing in last week’s as well. My excuse is that I couldn't think of much for either week, so by doubling up, I hope at least to entertain you with multiple pictures. This week’s bonus word was “fraudulent.” Last week’s was “symbol.”

Anthropologists discovered that the ancient temple site was fraudulent. Their tip off was the cardboard stones.   96

Members of the Canonballical religion use the ritualistic plunge as a symbol. They don’t believe in self-sacrifice like their crueler sect, the Bellyflopites.  136

Get my swan costume ready.
~ Purported last words of Anna Pavlova, ballerina, d. 1931

Writing Woes, or Writing Whoas…or Merely Woeful Writing?

As I mentioned last week, I was on Craigslist browsing for a handyman. But I just happened to look up people who were advertising themselves as writers for hire.

I was not disappointed.

Keep in mind these are real, actual ads. For writers. These are direct pastes. I promise I have not changed a single word here or made up any of this. I’d link to them directly, but I’m sort of afraid they’d trace me and come after me. If they can dangle modifiers, mangle phrases and butcher sentences this badly, what would they do to me? So I will leave you with a few, word for word, that are apparently from the same person or group. I put the titles in boldface. I’m not going to comment after, because that seems like gilding the lily. Or spitting on the skunk, in this case. Also, I simply don’t know what to say. Perhaps you are left less speechless than I am and can shed some light on this:

You will become most popular student in your class:

If you are average student in your class and you want to be popular student in class. You have many projects to do. But you are not able to accomplish your project. Then we can help you. We will make fabulous and attractive projects for you, so that your project will become the best in your class. And you will become the most popular student in your class. You will feel good by seeing our projects.

Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps:

Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps: If you have so much writing works to do. Or have so many projects to complete. And by these reasons you can't complete your sleep then we can help you. We can do your work. We have a team of professional writers. They will accomplish your work, so that you can complete your sleeps. By our help you will never compromise with your sleep, because we will complete your work. You can sleep stress free.

We will save your time: (We will save your time:)

We know that time is so important. If you have so much works to do. But at the same time you have to complete you assignments or project. Then what will you do? We know that projects and assignments are so time consuming. So at that time we can save your time by doing your projects we can accomplish your assignment or projects. And you can complete your other works. So by our help you can save your time.

  

our qualified writers can solve your writing woes:

We have qualified writers. They can easily solve your problem. They can easily accomplish your work. It is so essay for them. If you are suffering from your writing woes, then we can help you we will solve your problem. We will feel happy by seeing our work. You will never disappoint with us. We always had done a fantastic job. Our customers always feel happy with our work. They never feel any complaint with our work.

Often audacity, not authentic talent, confers fame on an artist. ~Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

Like, Lighten Up the Whole Neighborhood

A few weeks ago I was on Craigslist looking for a handyman. Next week I’ll share with you what else I found when I got distracted, as so often happens when I’m on Craigslist. But with this week’s theme being fireworks and all, I’ll tell you about the handyman I hired.

Handydude is young and doesn’t charge much. Handydude is quite chill. Too chill. I later decided I wouldn’t be hiring him again after he assured me it was, like, fine if his cigarette hovered over a container of explosive chemicals in my garage, because he had this theory that flammable liquids don’t blow up easily or he would have blown up long ago! So no worries, ha ha!

It is clear Handydude thinks I’m a slightly hysterical mom-type. A helicopter client. Nemo’s nervous dad. As he was explaining to me that “combustible” doesn’t really mean combustible, I watched the cigarette that was balanced on his lower lip bob along with each word right over those chemicals: bounce-bounce-bounce.

“But thanks for worrying about me, Sweetheart! Ha ha ha ha!” Bounce-bounce-bounce-bounce!

Handydude also calls me “Sweetheart.”

So I was on Craigslist before this conversation. Also before the one about at least turning the light switch off while he was rewiring the fixture. Urk. Also before watching the ladder he’d left leaning against a low-hanging rafter fall into my car, where—by the grace of the same angels who must be preventing this kid from going up like a Fourth of July fireworks finale—it barely grazed the side mirror and avoided the car next to it entirely.

I fervently hope young Handydude survives long enough to become an old Handydude. And he is, like, SO lucky I’m not his mom!

F is for the fire that burns down the whole town, U is for uranium bombs! N is for no survival! ~Plankton in “The Fun Song,” Spongebob Squarepants

Succinctly Yours Week 224: Tiny But Powerful

Many thanks to Grandma of Grandma’s Goulash for offering what is for me a weekly bright spot, SuccinctlyYours. Participants are invited to view the photo and come up with a story of 140 words or 140 characters or fewer to go with it. The bonus word this week was “dabble.”

Ruth was a serious Brownie. She decided to dabble in explosives and was the first ever to earn her Pyrotechnics badge.    98

From there, Ruth decided to dabble in TNT. Everyone tried to discourage her homework even though to Ruth, it was da bomb.   100

Take me or leave me; accept me or walk away; love me or hate me…but don’t make me feel less of a person if I don’t fit your idea of who I should be. I am me and I love me as I am! ~ Rishu Rajput