Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Improper Poll: Feed a Cold

I haven’t blogged lately because I recently took one of those colds that makes you feel like someone stuffed steel wool into all of the orifices in your head, and then cemented it in there with super glue and maybe some of that expandable foam insulation. And then they unscrewed the head and baked it at 350° for twenty minutes in a toaster oven, eyeballs up.

The good news is that I can now eat the off-brand chips I bought on impulse from a Walmart display that have been sitting in my pantry all summer possibly emitting radiation. Although the brand sounds like an island in the South Pacific, they are “Fuego” flavored and make my eyes water just by opening the bag. They are fire engine red and rolled up like little Cuban cigars, and they might be making my throat bleed, but who cares? I can sort of taste them and they are delicious.

What is the nastiest snack food you’ve ever eaten?


  1. A whole bucket of Otis Spunkmeyer "break and bake" strawberry shortcake cookies. Fortunately, I ate them in many sittings, but none of those cookies ever reached the oven.

    Maybe not nasty, but definitely pathetic.

  2. Herr's Kansas City Prime Steak Potato Chips. They tasted like salted salt that had been scraped off the bottom of a charred decaying log.

  3. Oh, definitely the rubber grapes I bought last week after reading your blog.

  4. Hope you feel better soon. Maybe the hot stuff will clear your sinuses.

  5. An off-brand "Asian spicy trail mix." Yes, it was as awful as it sounds and I was PMSing just enough to eat the whole bag.

    Sorry about your cold. Try a hot toddy about 30 minutes before you go to bed. It REALLY works. Here's the recipe I use:

    1 cup hot water
    1 shot whiskey (or a tad more)
    1 teaspoon (or more to taste) lemon juice
    1 tablespoon (or more to taste) honey

    Stir it up, adjust for sweetness/tartness, and drink up! It soothes your throat and helps you sleep. Grandma was really onto something.

  6. I'm planning to try Lisa's remedy and I don't even have a cold!

    Critter Alley

  7. Eyeballs up, lol! I don't know about the worst snack food, but I remember my worst cold/flu time ever, back in the late 80's. I finally had to give in and go to the doctor.

    I swear by a 24-hour antihistamine at the first sign of anything, along with some Aleve. I am surprised by how often those two things taken together nip things in the bud.

    Hope you keep getting better!

    Kathy M.

  8. After reading Lisa's comment, I have to agree with her. Grandma WAS really onto something...she was on her way to a hangover. (Just kidding.)

  9. Sioux, that sounds delicious. Even better as dough.

    Ooh, Val. Yum.

    Kay, NOOOOO!

    Thanks, Linda, it did! I think the fumes alone can kill off certain viruses.

    Lisa, many thanks to you and Grandma. Your recipe sounds WAY more fun than my garlic soup remedy. Not to mention more attractive to one's bed partner. I saved it.

    Me too, Pat!

    Kathy, I'm allergic to Aleve. :( But I find that Zicam stuff works wonders.

    Sioux, I think Grandma just knew how to make the most of things!

  10. I do hope you feel better soon. There are so many things I stuffed in my mouth that I didn't like and ate anyway... ugh.

  11. Thanks, Lynn, I do. And me too! But I've found the inability to taste didn't improve things any.


Any return "messages" are appreciated!