Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!

Hope you're having a wonderful St. Patrick's Day.  I'm off trying to get in some celebrating that I feel as if I've earned.  This is a re-post.  

Ten Seven TEN Things for Losers to Do on St. Patrick’s Day!

1. Don’t go to the bar on St. Patrick’s Day. Go to the dentist.
2. Wear a t-shirt that says, “Kiss me, too, I’m Portuguese.”
3. Kissing the wearer o’the green is so trite. Kiss the wearer o’the brown instead.
4. Kissing is so germy. Instead, go up to everyone wearing green and simply stroke their sleeve a bit. Don’t forget to use hand sanitizer afterwards!
5. Beer is so...working class. If you want to be REALLY classy, sip green wine instead. Make sure it's an Irish one. If you want to impress people with your wine drinking technique, gently gargle with it. Smack your lips and exclaim, “Ah!” This is called “embibing in the brogué.”
6. Parades get so darned crowded. Instead, stand on a street corner and wave at random people. When an interesting vehicle or weird looking person goes by, clap.
7. Instead of wearing shamrocks, wear a leaf associated with your ancestry. So if you’re Canadian, wear a maple leaf, and if you’re from Guam, wear a banana leaf, or if you’re from Nebraska, wear a corn husk, etc. Or if your ancestry is really mixed, simply wear salad. Or better yet, wear a fig leaf and explain to people that we’re all descended from Eve.
8. Can’t find your shamrock pin to wear? No worries! Simply wear your “slut” pin instead.
9. Spontaneously giggle at the dentist’s office because you suddenly remembered that you own a “slut” pin. Don’t ask.
10. Take a picture of your “slut” pin for your blog.

May the best day of your past be the worst day of your future. ~Irish toast


  1. A slut pin? What? Are you Republican? (say it isn't so!)

  2. Please pardon my ignorance, as I am not well-versed in Slut Pin etiquette. Is the Slut Pin something one purchases for oneself, or something one gives to a friend or acquaintance as a gift?

  3. Ha! Happy St. Patrick's Day to you ... where, exactly, do I find Irish wine?

    Kathy M.

  4. #6 & #7 ha ha ha ha ha So, how was the celebrating?

  5. I'm with Linda. Will we hear a great tale about your "celebration" on Wednesday?

    I sure hope so...

  6. I know a few peeps who'd love to have a slut pin.

  7. I don't have a slut pin, but I do have a tee shirt that says "Heathen" on the front. My pal, Bluzdude, sent it to me. And as for March 17th, well I missed it entirely because I was too drugged up on pain meds to even care what day it was. Where did you get your Slut pin? I want one!

  8. I love your St Paddy's day loser list. Sadly, I fit on it quite well.

    Critter Alley


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