Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Senior Sex(less) and the City: #21

The Old Boyfriend
The name was so familiar, it didn’t seem at all out of place in my inbox. Yet when I thought about it, I realized I haven’t seen that name in—could it be?—thirty years?! And when you figure how long I’ve known him, we go back even further than that.

He lived on the other side of my neighborhood, so we were practically children together. A friend of Joe’s, I think. What was I—15, 16 when we first met? I know I thought he was cute. But he had a girlfriend. Later, after they’d broken up, we dated off and on for years.

And now here he was emailing me. Did I remember him? Ha. To me, he looks exactly the same, right down to that scar I loved because it somehow added a slightly rugged defiance to those almost-too-pretty features. And how I loved his conspiratorial grin, the way he leaned in as if we alone got the joke….

What I remember most for some reason is the time he picked me up for a date and I asked him what he’d done all day. He told me he’d been mowing lawns after work. I guess I asked him if it was a job. His mother was widowed and I knew he mowed his own family’s grass. He answered that he always mowed his neighbors’, too. Wasn’t that a job, I asked? I still remember the way he said it. “No,” he shrugged. “They’re old.” As if that explained it. And it did. I believe I fell in love with him just a little bit at that moment.

After we emailed a few times, I sent him my number so we could catch up. He is recently divorced. Although neither of us is from this city, we both live surprisingly close now. And I could no longer use the excuse that I’m not ready to date someone new. Technically this isn’t someone new, is it?

It was really nice when I started to explain a situation with someone we both used to know…and I didn’t have to explain. Not only does he already know the people involved, but he went through something similar himself. He understood my feelings exactly, and from more than one perspective. It’s a situation not many people understand. He’s experienced his own losses, and they’ve given him depth and character. Wisdom.

Once again, it’s the scars I’m drawn to. What an unexpected comfort it is, this intimacy, like something we alone get. I believe I fell in love with him just a little bit. All over again.

My friends are my estate. ~Emily Dickinson


  1. Aaah...First Beth, and now perhaps you?

  2. Sounds like it's definitely something to explore. I'm happy for you. You deserve someone amazing!

  3. Tammy, this is so neat. I hope that you two have a lot of fun together as you become reacquainted.

    Thank you so much for your visit and comments. Glad you are in a such a happy place now.


    Kathy M.

  4. This is so sweet. I hope all goes well for you both.

  5. Tammy? Really?
    I recently talked to a man I haven't seen in 30 years, but he had a problem and just wanted to phone and vent a bit. Anyway, I'm much older than you are, so 30 years doesn't seem such a long time. LOL
    And I'm married, so it's a different kind of thing.
    But still, maybe the planets are aligning for a whole lot of reacquainting. And you're right, he isn't someone new.
    Fingers and toes crossed for you.
    Luv, K

  6. That is such a beautiful post.

  7. You AND Beth? Wow,I really-really hope it works.

  8. The universe works in mysterious ways. I got my current job at my dad's funeral. I hope everything works out for you. Not that rekindling a relationship is a job or anything. :)

  9. You never know, I guess, what time will give you. Keep us posted. :)

  10. Well now, this certainly sounds intriguing. Of course since you gave us a teaser you'll now be forced to keep all your readers informed!

    Critter Alley

  11. Details. We want details (ha ha ha)

  12. Well, maybe you know that I have known my current husband since we were 9 years old. We reconnected at our 25th high school reunion, and have been married for more than 25 years now.

    Oh, and that robot stuff below? The first word always gives me a headache!


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