Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Senior Sex(less) and the City: Dating…Then vs. Now

Then: Do I look okay?
Now: Would my picture appear on “People of WalMart?”

Then: Does this make my rear end look big?
Now: Good thing I don’t have to look at myself from behind!

Then: Does my hair look perfect?
Now: Uh oh—the back of my hair looks awful. Good thing I don’t have to look at myself from behind! Also, does the skunk stripe from where the gray is growing back in look too obvious?

Then: Uh oh, my clothes are wrinkled! I’d better iron!
Now: Uh oh, my clothes are wrinkled! Maybe people will think that either, A.) the wrinkles appeared in my car on the way over, or B.) this is a crinkled fabric that’s supposed to look like this.

Then: Is my outfit brand new and perfectly coordinated?
Now: Will a little spit get the toothpaste blobs out of the outfit that I’ve worn all day? Because I don’t want to have to do more laundry than I have to.

Then: Ooh, he’s really cute!
Now: Ooh, he sounds sane!
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6 comments:

  1. Linda O'ConnellJanuary 21, 2011 at 4:29 AM

    It is not nice to make a woman with a cold laugh until she snorts, hacks and coughs at 4:30 a.m. :)
    You are so funny. Come on! Write that book.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lisa Ricard ClaroJanuary 21, 2011 at 4:54 AM

    HaHa! So funny! A great way to start off the day, especially this early in the morning. Thanks for the belly laugh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. JulesJanuary 21, 2011 at 7:18 AM

    Nice to start my day with a laugh. "Skunk strip," LOL.
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sioux RoslawskiJanuary 21, 2011 at 7:27 AM

    Tammy--I agree with Linda. We are going to find out where you live and picket in front of your house. Our signs will say, "Write that book!"

    (And if you don't, you're going to have to recussitate Linda at 4:30 in the morning the next time you write something so funny, which is just about every post.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. BECKYJanuary 21, 2011 at 9:47 AM

    Hey Sioux...I know where we can picket...and Tam lives too far away from Linda to be able to recussitate her!! *snort, cough, laugh*

    ReplyDelete
  6. TammyJanuary 22, 2011 at 5:21 PM

    Wow. You guys are all so gracious and just plain wonderful!! I'm not quite sure how to get a whole book out of it, so I am definitely open to suggestions! Perhaps the answer is more eligible men? Please send some. ;D

    Linda, hope you're feeling better. You people get up way too early, especially on snow days!

    ReplyDelete

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