Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Improper Poll: Blog Award Time!

Jules at Just Trying to Get Over the Rainbow gave me a lovely award Friday! Thanks so much, Jules! Problem is, I can't get the actual award to post.  Nonetheless, the answers Jules gave were hysterically funny. Here are my answers. They are also your Improper Poll questions should you decide to accept them, so pay attention to the questions!

Are you a rutabaga?
I don’t know what this means, but yesterday I drove out of town, so I’ll say I feel more like a Winnebaga. And I lovelovelove summer festival time.

Who is your current crush?
I have one! I do! A real live person this time! That’s all I’m sayin’. ;)

A picture that makes you smile.
Pretty much anything on Awkward Family Photos.  The pictures—along with the titles and captions—never fail to make me giggle uncontrollably.

Oh, and also this. It’s all over the Internet, but for good reason. Who can resist a bowl of kitties? Especially a wash bowl? Add those expressions…. It doesn’t matter how often I see this picture. I melt every time.

When was the last time you ate a vine-ripened tomato?
Today, thanks to my friend John who gave me two big bags of them, along with two big bags of peppers from his garden. And they are incredible!  I didn’t grow them this year and have regretted it every day of tomato season.

Name a habit that causes other people to plot your demise.
Here is but one. I sneeze about ten times in a row after I eat. It makes some people very uncomfortable. Me too. Though once when it happened at lunch with a friend, I was apologizing in between sneezes. She merely shrugged and gave me this sage look she has and murmured, “gustatory rhinitis.” I looked it up when I got home and as usual, she was right.

What is the weirdest most disgusting job you have ever had to do?
I did product demonstrations in college. When it was food and I was in a grocery store, I had to wash up in the meat department. Butchers have to be the lustiest group of men on earth, giving new meaning to the term, “meat market.” They could be counted upon to ask for my phone number, probably because, in contrast to everything else in their workspace, I was female and human and alive. The back of a meat department is enough to make you a vegetarian—which I un-coincidentally was at that point in my life—and has to be one of the most un-romantic places in the world. So I was standing there shivering in the cold and struggling not to dry heave while surrounded by the stench of raw, dead animal flesh and little globs of fat and pools of blood getting on my shoes, and some old guy in a bloody apron surrounded by cleavers would be coming onto me. Trust me, it was disgusting.

Where da muffin top at?
Forgive me for boasting, but I bet I could produce a muffin top around any cinched body part. Case in point.

Describe yourself using obscure Latin terms.
Besides Gustatory Rhinitis, which sounds Latin to me, Vetulus Pectoris, Ploutizo Pneuma. According to something I read, it means “poor souls, enriched spirit.” I heard it in reference to artistic types. In case that’s not obscure enough, I speak gardening Latin such as clematis triternata rubromarginata.

I never know how people feel about awards, so I officially pass this one to anyone who wants it. You have been polled! Thank you again to Jules!


  1. Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.

  2. I've never happened upon Awkward Family Photos but I checked it out tonight. Very funny.

    Your disgusting job does indeed sound like it was disgusting.

    What is beyond the muffin top? The bundt cake? That's what I have (not meaning to boast, either).

  3. I laughed at many of your responses, especially the one with the butchers! Too wild!

  4. Congrats on your award, and thanks for sharing info about yourself with us. The butcher thing. Eew. And I like the Awkward Family Photos too. And the People of Walmart---my daughter e-mails those to me. We have our own share of AFP (nothing to compare to that website, though) and I am a Walmartian myself. But I promise I never shop wearing only a thong bikini with spiked heels and a Bass Pro Shop ball cap. Honest.

  5. I had troubled getting the award as well, not to mention getting the entire post published and readable. You are welcome.

    I like the winnebaga answer, the Kittens are too darn cute but your job answer had me rolling! Here is another funny fact... I had and still have no idea what a muffin top is. :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  6. Fascinating look into your life, Tammy! Though all your answers were interesting, I zeroed in on the "current crush" one. H'mmmmm???


  7. OMG! Rod sneezes about 10 times after a meal! I can't believe there is an actual name for that! Thanks, Tammy! I can now die a happy woman! Oh, and Rod will thank you too, when I tell him what he has!!!

  8. Sioux, I too have wondered what you call the step beyond the muffin top. Whatever it is, it is undoubtedly sported on People of Walmart that Lisa mentioned. And Jules, consider yourself lucky (and skinny) if you don't know what that is. Judie, that is too funny. Tell Rod we Gustatory Rhinites must stick together. If only to share tissues.


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