Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Senior Sex(less) and the City: #20

Joe Cool
Joe is cool. He’s so cool, in fact, that all he has to do is say what his job is. Then he leans back and awaits the praise. I.T. Joe is IT.

I ask him about his job. I’m not intending to pry; it’s just all I have to go on, and Joe and I are sort of isolated on one end of a table with no one else to talk to. Joe’s response is to give me a “look” to tell me how stupid I am. Joe’s job is so cool, I should know all about it.

A woman sits down next to us and Joe is too cool for her, too. So we talk to each other. She is a child psychologist and very nice. But when she goes to the bathroom, I sneak a look at Joe’s face because there just isn’t much else to do. Joe has a goatee that doesn’t go. It might go on some people, but it gives Joe the look of an aging evil genie. Joe’s goatee makes me wonder if the word “goatee” has something to do with goats. To me Joe’s cool goatee looks a little like pube art sprouting on his evil genie face.

Joe is popular. He’s so popular, in fact, that he texts his friends at the table during the middle of dinner. Don’t you have a phone, Cool Joe asks?

I have to stifle a giggle while addressing Joe’s facial pubes. “I yell at my children when they do that,” I say, indicating the texting at the table. He rolls his eyes to show how very uncool I am.

I yell at my children when they do that, too.


  1. Love the line about Joe's goatee that doesn't go.

    He's probably texting himself during dinner to give the impression that he is popular.

    Joe is not cool. Joe is a jerk. In fact, reading about Joe brings to mind an old song: "Cool Jerk."


  2. I love the last two paragraphs. They nail down The Real Joe.
    Good stuff!
    — K

    Kay, Alberta, Canada
    An Unfittie's Guide to Adventurous Travel

  3. LOL, "pube art sprouting on his evil genie face." If that don't just paint a picture. :)

    Really wish you got out more because I dearly love these! :D
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

  4. OMG I am laughing out loud. Please werite the best seller.

  5. Pube art? Disgusting, but hilarious.

    I can't figure why you didn't jump on that opportunity. He sounds like he was a real catch.

  6. Thank goodness! When your facebook showed "in a relationship" I feared no more of these posts and thought I might go into horrible withdrawal. But here you are with a screamingly funny SSATC post. What a relief! You crack me up. I was already giggling, but the "pube art" did me in.

  7. Thanks, guys! Jules, me too! ;) Lisa, I have a few saved up...and I never seem to lose my knack for attracting characters!

  8. Pubes? That picture just made me go blind!! Tammy, you are soooo funny!!!


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