Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Improper Poll: Gone Furniture Fishin’

I recently had to dig through the sofa cushions to look for a highlighter one of my kids had borrowed. I was shocked. Counting both the sofa and the loveseat, I found: 2 pens, a very smashed dryer sheet (they are evil and they follow me), a small Christmas bow, a piece of ribbon, 1 pink Easter jelly bean, a chocolate-scented colored pencil, a tiny black decorative feather, the remains of a candy wrapper, and (amazingly), the highlighter I was looking for. Guess I should be checking under the cushions more often, but I had no idea that you could hold a scrapbooking party out of the booty obtained…beneath our booties.

So today’s improper poll question is…am I the only one with gross sofas? Or have you ever found anything interesting under your cushions?

17 comments:

  1. Roseanne, the comedienne, when she first began and was not the famous TV "star" she became, told a joke. It went something like this:

    My husband said, "Roseanne, get me some more chips." Why did he ask me? He's so lazy! He can lift up the couch cushion just as easily as I can!

    I think everyone who actually "lives" in their house---and if they have kids or a husband (both sloppy groups)---they have couches that "accumulate" things.

    Don't think of it as gross. Think of the couch and the loveseat as two storage facilities...

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  2. Oh yeah, I love that Roseanne bit, too! I can do a pretty good Roseanne imitation sometimes.

    Tammy, I'm surprised you didn't find any food crumbs or loose change! I always find those!

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  3. OMG! I am going in there right now to see.
    OMG! A Cheerio, potato chip crumbs, sand???? two nickles, a penny and long lost photo of a student. Oh, that's not sand, it's crud and glitter from when I did holiday crafts:)

    This could be fun. Can't wait to see what others find.

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  4. Nothing interesting, though I'm hoping to find a fully-fleshed novel plot ;)

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  5. Nothing you would call interesting. Just a sock. And to think I had been blaming the dryer all this time.

    But if I may substitute a locale...I did find a year-old McDonald's cheeseburger under the car seat one summer. It was not at all decomposed, merely hard as a rock. I suppose the conditions were right for mummification. That Morgan Spurlock dude was right about McDonalds.

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  6. I found little pieces of sticks that Lizzy has brought into the house, lots of crumbs, and dog hair! When Keil was living with us, I used to find loose change.

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  7. Huh. Enough dog hair to stuff a mattress for Sasquatch, a paper clip, and a pen. No food. My dogs would be remiss in their duties if there was food. :)

    Chocolate-scented colored pencil? Really? That sounds wonderful.

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  8. LOL, gross but sometimes profitable. I consider my sofa the house pickpocket and will occasionally make a withdraw for a Big Mac :)
    Jules @ Trying To Get Over The Rainbow

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  9. You guys are so funny.... Sioux, love it, and Becky, I want to hear that! Linda, I really did laugh out loud and still am. Ellie, me too! And money! Lots and lots of money! Val, when I got done laughing, I decided your mummified cheeseburger may have inspired an upcoming question. Judie and Lisa, I hear you about the dog hair...and my dog doesn't even sleep on the sofas. Jules, I like that bank idea. Why couldn't I have found money like normal people??

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  10. When my kids were little, oh good grief the things I'd find. I wondered why there were still things on the floor with all the stuff in the couch cushions. But now that they are gone, hmmm, not so much there now. Doesn't make for anything funny now does it?

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  11. Some of my furniture cushion finds have been:
    a golf ball, a tennis ball, a baseball, money, pistachio shells, candy wrappers (from the kids, honest) the remote, and my cell phone, which I found after calling my number.

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  12. I once found a pair of underwear. It's frightening to consider how it got there.

    Pat
    www.critteralley.blogspot.com

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  13. Hey Pat.....uh...WHO's underwear was it?? :o

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  14. Lynn, those kids sure are entertaining, or make that "entertained" in Donna's case except where they've lost all their sporting equipment to the couch cushions! Pat, I am deeply impressed. If those undies didn't get there the way mine would have--while folding laundry--your life is WAY more interesting than mine.

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  15. what do I find all the time? my daughters toys, coins, bills, useless letters, spoons...a long list........

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