Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

When It Really Is Unlucky to Have a Black Cat

It’s been a while since I’ve been on blogs. Part of the reason is that I’ve been even more overwhelmed than usual lately. The other reason is that I’ve had a horrible bout of writer’s block ever since our beloved little Catsby passed after an unexpected diagnosis of congestive heart failure a couple of weeks ago. It’s amazing to me how empty my lap feels now when I write.

I really didn’t want a cat at the time we found him living under a concrete bench in the yard a couple of years ago. Not only was I just not a cat person, I thought I was too busy. My social life is fuller than it’s been since I met my former husband over thirty years ago, and I won’t apologize for that. I’ve earned it. 

And Catsby had some abandonment issues. At first I complained about how needy he was, but it turns out his constant presence is what I miss most. It was endearing that he adored being with loved ones so much.

Once when I went in the closet and saw his tail protruding slightly from under the clothing, I impulsively said (in a peekaboo voice), “I wonder where our dear little kitty could be?!”

When he popped out and exclaimed, “MeOW!” it sounded for all the world like, “Here I am!”

That was our Catsby. That goofy critter converted a family of dog people into dog AND cat people. 

That's what made him The Great Catsby.

I can’t tell you how much your kind words meant to me during that time and still mean to me. Also—a block-shattering bit of good news—my NYMB…On Being a Woman story, “Worse Than Zombie Warts” will be featured on www.laughuntilyoupee.com this coming Friday. I’d appreciate it if you’d consider coming back and leaving a comment over there, and as always, thank you so much!


 Grief can take care of itself, but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with. ~Mark Twain

18 comments:

  1. It is heartbreaking when we lose a pet. Especially when we didn't have them to love for very long. But cats (and dogs) are able to expand and inflate that love that they get from us, so for them, it seems like for their whole life they were loved by us.

    At least that's what I believe...

    Congratulations, Tammy. I'll try to remember (you could always post a reminder ;).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They DO expand and inflate love, don't they? I love that.

      Delete
  2. Hari OM
    Oh the empty lap takes some getting used to.... I used a blankie to cover the emptiness and fill in the warmth. Okay. Still do..... Missed you for Succinctly, but congrats on the NYMB acceptance! YAM xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, YAM, for all of it. The blankie's a good idea. Just wish it had that face on it.

      Delete
  3. I think it was no accident that Catsby found you. You made his life richer, and he did the same for you. It's so hard to let go.

    Congrats on your upcoming feature. I'll try to remember on Friday, but like Sioux said, a reminder couldn't hurt.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Will definitely post something Friday. And I don't believe in accidents, either. Just wish we didn't have to let go so soon.

      Delete
  4. How happy Catsby was in the years he spent with you. I think both you and he were fortunate indeed to have found each other.

    Pat
    Critter Alley

    ReplyDelete
  5. So sorry to hear of your loss. We lost a young cat, three years old, to congestive heart failure - such a shock.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much! I'm sorry again about your beloved Frodo. Congestive heart failure at THREE? Really? That would be a horrible shock. We didn't know how old Catsby was, but I like to think he lived a long life.

      Delete
  6. Aw this is painful
    I still call our new cat by our old cat'S name.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww! This made me giggle a bit because my mom used to call me by my older sisters' names all the time.

      Delete
  7. So sorry for your loss. You surely made Catsby's last years his best and I hope you can take some comfort from that. {{hugs}}.

    P.S. Congratulations. I'm looking forward to Friday.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Awww! That is a comfort. Thank you so much! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. You certainly did catch up on your blog reading. :)

    You know where my heart is as it pertains to fur babies. Your Great Catsby was right where he needed to be---I think sometimes the Universe sends us angels in furry form when we need them the most, even though we don't even know we need them until after we've been blessed. I'm so glad you had each other. This is a lovely tribute to him, Tammy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Lisa! I think you're absolutely right.

      Delete
  10. What a lovely post, Tammy, and a beautiful tribute to your Catsby. I too believe that everything happens for a reason -- you and Catsby finding each other was no accident. His soul and yours will always be connected.

    I'm so excited for you that your NYMB story will appear on their website. Be assured that I will go and leave a comment. Congratulations! (And it's good to read one of your blog posts again -- I've missed them!).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aww...thanks, Theresa! It's good to read one of your comments again!

      Delete

Any return "messages" are appreciated!