Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, June 30, 2013

Improper Poll: The Agony of De Feet


This post is not really about painful shoes. Sorry to have misled, but I was going for a title that combined articles of clothing and sports.

The reason is that I’ve lately been privy to the television watching habits of a certain young adult who shall remain unnamed...and it seems there are entire shows which attempt to make other people’s shopping into a spectator sport. 

To me it’s like watching old guys who are bass fishing. Someone tries to make the show look interesting. You see lots of shots of facial expressions, and often there is some lack of cooperation that is made to seem far more dramatic than it is, but essentially we’re talking about an act that is about as fraught with drama as getting the lid off a jar. There's a little effort, and in the end they probably get what they're after. So here are

Ten Shows I Would Rather Watch Than “Say Yes to the Dress” or “I Found the Gown”

1.      I Saw the Bra
2.      I Barfed on the Scarf
3.      I Care About Underwear
4.      Say No to the Poncho
5.      I’m Peeved About My Sleeve
6.      Say Gak to the Fanny Pack
7.      I Rant at Pants (and Hurt for a Shirt)
8.      I’m Picky About the Dickey
9.      Say Hooray for the Toupee (because it goes without saying that I love men who wear them)
10.  I Scream for Pajama Jeans

Bonus show that TLC is reportedly considering to air after Breaking Amish: I’ve Heard Rumors About What Goes On in Those Bloomers

Do you like to watch other people shop?

21 comments:

  1. I humbly submit, for your network consideration: Sioux Rocks the Crocs.

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    1. Excellent choice that will of course go to the top of my viewing list.

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  2. You think you have computer problems! I just snorted soda all over the screen. OMG these are hysterical, Tammy.

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    1. Thanks, Linda. I laugh so much while reading other people's blogs that I make sure only to drink unsweet tea while reading. Mountain Dew is awful to get out of computer keys.

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  3. Well, the shopping in number 8 could be interesting to watch...

    Pat
    Critter Alley

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    1. Yes! Dickeys and the people who wear them are of course worthy of long hours of television viewing. Not to mention the rows of family members who get to participate.

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  4. Holy crap. Somehow this post slipped in unnoticed.

    I did not know that about you (#9). The next time I pass by some guy on the street wearing one, I'll get his number...

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    1. Would you please? Or his card would do. Or a framed portrait.

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  5. Tammy--I forgot to say how funny this list was. And some of them---if you pitched them---would be snapped up by some TV producer.

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    1. Thanks, Sioux, but don't tell - I really would watch #9.

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  6. You are SO hilarious. I'm thinking you should pitch these ideas, they'd probably be snapped up, like Sioux said.

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    1. What a scary thought, but you may be right.

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  7. Hi Tammy! Every one of these are hysterical! And to answer your question, No, I do not like to watch people shop! Or any other of the "reality" shows that are on TV. I hope that someday really soon, this "fad" of crap on every channel, will disappear....for something worthwhile!! Oh, and here's my feeble attempt for a title: I'm Too Fat For That.

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    1. Hi Becky - I like your title, but sad to say it really is one I can see shows airing!

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  8. Funny stuff Tammy! Thanks for the laugh : )
    And...no, I'm not one to watch those shows. I have caught an episode of "Say Yes..." now and again though, and Dear GAWD what is WRONG with these women!?!?!? If they put half the effort into the marriage/relationship as they do in the dress... well, maybe there wouldn't have to be a "Say Of Course to the Divorce" show - haha - it's probably in production as I write this!

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    1. Honestly, Beth, if that clever show isn't in production it should be!

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  9. The closest we come to reality TV is Mythbusters (which doesn't really qualify), although we did watch the bar makeover show a couple times and that was interesting. But of course reality TV isn't really reality, because no matter what goobers they have on those shows, it's a safe bet everyone knows when the cameras are rolling. I love your list, though. So funny, and a great way to start my Monday afternoon.

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    1. I'm not saying I never watch reality TV! Mythbusters is great, isn't it? And I have to admit a small addiction to The Long Island Medium.... But you're right - they're not really reality, and it's clear a lot of the drama is contrived. Thanks for stopping by!

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  10. What a funny list. A young adult in my family also likes to watch the two shows you mentioned. Does Duck Dynasty qualify as a reality show?

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    1. I've never watched Duck Dynasty but will put it on my list. I suspect a lot of young adults watch those, Donna, and who knows - maybe I would have if I were that young again? I mean, really, I watched Gilligan's Island....

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  11. These are hilarious, Tammy -- yours and everyone else's too! Here's my contribution: "Itchin' to Stay Out of the Kitchen"

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