Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

By the Facebook

Does Facebook have a rule book? Because I am truly clueless. Is it a place to meet up with old friends? Find out more about new acquaintances? Network? What?

I originally joined Facebook as a way to Network. What I found when I got on there was that the class reunion I couldn’t attend had just continued on Facebook. It was wonderful, virtually reuniting with old friends again. But if I post about a writing success, these dear people are often the ones who send all kinds of encouragement…that makes me feel like a braggart and a schmuck. I’m not comfortable tooting my own horn, anyway, though I do know sometimes tooting must occur in order to drive anywhere. So how is that handled?

I have a friend who started two Facebook pages—one personal and one professional. Now she tells me she regrets it because the difference between the two isn’t clear enough and the overlap causes much confusion. She also doesn’t like that people have to “like” her professional page in order to join it. “What if they don’t like what I do?” she asks me. I know exactly how she feels.

I also don’t get who should be friended and who shouldn’t. I’ve known people who have hundreds and even thousands of friends, and others who “friend” total strangers. I do have FB friends I may possibly not have met, even though I have no qualms about turning people down if I can’t make some kind of connection. I routinely turn down apps that people send me. Should I politely tell them why? Or just ignore them? And does it really do any good to join Facebook and then turn down people and apps with the illusion that it gives us a little security? Especially when you have a blog?

Then there’s the question of how often we should post. I know people who get annoyed at seeing what others ate for lunch. That one doesn’t bother me, but one of my pet peeves is the ones who have Facebook conversations with relatives who are in the same house. Possibly these people are in the same room, even. What is that? Breakdown in communication? Some form of peculiar exhibitionism? Phoniness? Laziness? What?

What are your Facebook rules?


  1. My "rule" is "Don't participate." As a FB party-pooper, I am clueless why--as you say--people post what they had for lunch or what they're doing over the weekend or what they just dug out from under their big toenail. (I hope that last one is one I can say with my tongue in my cheek.)

    "Talking" on FB with someone they live with? Wild. And yet another reason why I stay out of it...

  2. No Facebook for me. My job does not allow me to be a real person. Blogging is really pushing it, even anonymously. I am in violation of several of the 1872 rules for schoolmarms.

  3. Make your own rules. If people unfriend you for anything, then they weren't really your friend anyway.

  4. I am on Facebook to find out what's going on with other people. Many won't call with news, but they'll post it (what does that mean?) Sometimes scrolling through the endless "shares" of jokes and pretty pictures gets tedious, though. I don't do the games that constantly are sent my way. And I totally agree with you. I don't want to seem like I'm patting myself on the back, so I try to be careful when I do post. Most of my yapping happens on my blog.

    Critter Alley

  5. Facebook befuddles me, too. I joined because I was told I had to do the "social networking thing." I set it up to automatically upload my weekly blog post, and otherwise, I don't get on that often. Sometimes it will be days before I check Facebook and by then I've missed birthdays and other stuff. I had one person get mad at me because she posted that she was sick and I didn't comment. Well, geez. I never saw her post. That's the other thing. Just because one of my "friends" posts doesn't mean I'll ever see it in my feed. Facebook giveth and Facebook taketh away. All by itself. *sigh* Now I'm told I must tweet! For Pete's sake, why can't I just write?? Now, my commercial writing business, Ricard Writing, will be underway soon, so I'll Facebook post about that. But since the bulk of my "friends" are either family or other writers (who obviously don't need my services) what good will it do? If you find a rule book, please send a copy my way!

  6. I can always tell when someone is inbibing by the things they post, either in the form of a rant or a poster inviting everyone to kiss their ever-lovin'...

    I skim over those who monopolize with twenty posts at a time no matter how inspirational or funny the photo/caption, cartoons.

    I keep tabs on grandkids who post all of their business on line :)

  7. I usually get on when I'm tagged which is usually by a family member (kids). I never play the games. I seem to get on FB less and less. It is good for reunions when you're trying to hunt down people. But I feel like if someone has some news, I'd hope they'd share it with me personally. Oh well...

  8. Hi Tammy ... this is how I have managed my FB page. First, I am hidden. My FB friends are only for peeps that I actually know (family and friends) or that I add through my family and friends. I am so open on my blog that I don't want people that I don't know to be able to find me. I have strict privacy settings on there too. What is funny to me is that most of my loved ones do not read my blog, even with the family history stuff (hard to be a prophet in your own country!). But, they love and encourage me in other important ways, of course. I also like FB because you can instant message private messages and keep up a nice banter and share other updates. I do have a crossover with some of blog friends and my other FB friends though. I would love to be FB friends with you, if you want ... you can find me through Lynn, Becky and Lisa's friends page. Also, if you ever want to visit more, my email is: oregongiftsofcomfortandjoy@hotmail.com I have been thinking about you a lot these days. Hugs!

    Kathy M.

  9. A bit more ... the apps requests are sent out by the apps people for the most part, so if you deny them you are not hurting anybody's feelings. I don't accept any of them, nor do I play any of the games. The apps want permission to take all of your information ... and dang, THAT isn't going to happen. Nobody is going to take all of my photos in order for me to play Words With Friends on FB. Also, I NEVER accept a friend request from somebody that I do not know. If a real friend says, "I think you would like so and so" then that is another matter. I didn't start a FB account for a platform though, I did it to reconnect with my real people.

  10. I like facebook, simply for the ability to catch up with friends far and wide. If some I'm connected to drives me crazy with constant political rants or "I'm going to the bathroom now" posts all day long, I simply remove them from my wall feed. Nicer than unfriending them, still lets me check in with them, but I don't have to constantly be bombarded with the messages ; )


Any return "messages" are appreciated!