Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Writing Woes, or Writing Whoas…or Merely Woeful Writing?

As I mentioned last week, I was on Craigslist browsing for a handyman. But I just happened to look up people who were advertising themselves as writers for hire.

I was not disappointed.

Keep in mind these are real, actual ads. For writers. These are direct pastes. I promise I have not changed a single word here or made up any of this. I’d link to them directly, but I’m sort of afraid they’d trace me and come after me. If they can dangle modifiers, mangle phrases and butcher sentences this badly, what would they do to me? So I will leave you with a few, word for word, that are apparently from the same person or group. I put the titles in boldface. I’m not going to comment after, because that seems like gilding the lily. Or spitting on the skunk, in this case. Also, I simply don’t know what to say. Perhaps you are left less speechless than I am and can shed some light on this:

You will become most popular student in your class:
If you are average student in your class and you want to be popular student in class. You have many projects to do. But you are not able to accomplish your project. Then we can help you. We will make fabulous and attractive projects for you, so that your project will become the best in your class. And you will become the most popular student in your class. You will feel good by seeing our projects.

Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps:
Just you can be enjoying good night sleeps: If you have so much writing works to do. Or have so many projects to complete. And by these reasons you can't complete your sleep then we can help you. We can do your work. We have a team of professional writers. They will accomplish your work, so that you can complete your sleeps. By our help you will never compromise with your sleep, because we will complete your work. You can sleep stress free.

We will save your time: (We will save your time:)
We know that time is so important. If you have so much works to do. But at the same time you have to complete you assignments or project. Then what will you do? We know that projects and assignments are so time consuming. So at that time we can save your time by doing your projects we can accomplish your assignment or projects. And you can complete your other works. So by our help you can save your time.
  
our qualified writers can solve your writing woes:
We have qualified writers. They can easily solve your problem. They can easily accomplish your work. It is so essay for them. If you are suffering from your writing woes, then we can help you we will solve your problem. We will feel happy by seeing our work. You will never disappoint with us. We always had done a fantastic job. Our customers always feel happy with our work. They never feel any complaint with our work.



Often audacity, not authentic talent, confers fame on an artist. ~Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

16 comments:

  1. Oh, dear. I am especially impressed with: "It is so ESSAY for them." Heh, heh.
    It's like when my son was in 6th grade, and wanted to buy a phone on eBay from China. The description advised:

    "Having a Hot expensive phone experience with spending ten times less."
    "Check out more on this Brand new lovely Garget."
    OUR MISSION:
    "Provide the professional sunshine feeling to our customers and turn out to have mutually positive feedback."

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  2. Wow. And of course that's just what every mother wants for her 6th grader - a Hot expensive Garget which provides professional sunshine!

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  3. Hari Om
    Crikey, I wish it was essay to get good night sleeps. Am on day four of insomnia (ooops sorry, that oughtta be bad-night sleeps). Every possibility I might produce similar oopsydaisycals in my ccurranty stait......................
    YAM xx

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    Replies
    1. So sorry about your bad night sleeps, but it sure hasn't hurt your sense of humor any...! Hee hee!

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  4. Tammy--This is too funny. I hope English is NOT their first language. It's nice to know that the customer will never disappoint them...

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    Replies
    1. There's just so much to love, huh?

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  5. Unbelievable. Wonder how much business they get?

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    Replies
    1. I wondered the same thing, Donna!

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  6. If only it was that essay to do. WHO falls for this?

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    Replies
    1. I guess the kind of people who are willing to pay others to do their homework? But don't you wonder what they get? Can you imagine the doctoral dissertation on, say Emily Dickenson's imagery? "Emile was good poem. She have write many good fine poem that she write no one feel any complaint with poem...."

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  7. Those sound like the weird robo-comments that (thankfully) go straight into the spam folder.

    Pat
    Critter Alley

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    Replies
    1. True! But what I wonder is, even if it's a business run by non-English speakers, why don't they hire their own writers to do the ads?

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  8. Hahahahahahahahahaha! Oh, THANK you for this. Hahahaha... I've laughed so hard I will perhaps enjoy good night sleeps now, I will enjoy my good night sleeps so much essayly now. Thanks you!

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  9. Yours many welcomes! Most thanks for spend important times here!

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  10. Oh my GOODNESS!! I have been having bad nights sleeps because I've been worried about writing woes. Now that I know how essay writing is, I will sleeps better... eek! This has to be a joke... right? Write?

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  11. Hee hee! I many hopes such!

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