Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Dastardly Dozen

On the twelfth day before Christmas, many hassles befell me:
Twelve people in line,
Eleven shirt boxes missing,
Ten shoppers griping,
Nine un-matching gift tags,
Eight packages that need mailing,
Seven ornaments shattered
Six inches of packing tape left
Five more inches of snow!
Four backordered gifts
Three mile parking lot walk
Two sore feet
And a light that still won’t light on the tree!

It’s been a particularly hectic season here. Isn’t it amazing that a holiday that’s about love and brotherhood can so quickly and ironically make you feel the opposite? So it’s all the more important to me this year to stop and remember all that’s wonderful—and you are one of them. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and have a happy holiday!

Squidward: Who would want to celebrate a holiday where a fat man breaks into your house and leaves gifts?
Patrick: Like a genie!

~Spongebob Squarepants


  1. Tammy--First of all, midwives...that is how I wanted to do it. You make me bow down to you as a mother, as a writer, and as a wearer of pajama jeans.

    Yes, if we listen to Hallmark and Walmart, the holiday becomes something to gripe about. If we keep it simple and keep our family (the members we like) and our friends close, it's a fun time of year.

    1. I need to do the bowing, Sioux. I had to be transferred after she was born due to some complications. As for the holiday spirit, you nailed it in a sentence. Hope yours is wonderful!

  2. Funny and beautiful post... thank YOU! and Happy Holidays

  3. How funny, and how true!

    Wishing you and yours a joyful Christmas and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.

  4. If I may be so bold...perhaps you should visit The Good Feet store. Don't take your credit card! As for the 12 people in line, I would swear you were at my post office, except I don't see any mention of a dead-mouse smell, or the ill-mannered gentleman behind you ramming his forearm between your buttocks. Happy Holidays!

    1. You may be bold...what is this Good Feet store that you speak of? I plan to check it out. Or else look into Crocs. ;-) Fortunately no dead-mouse smell here, but I was the one sitting on the post office floor dumping packages in while one nice lady held my place in the loooong line and another coached me on packing technique. Happy holidays to you, too!

  5. How I can relate to most of this. Renewal...peace, quiet, solitude...that's what I need. You and Sioux should get together and become song writers. Ask her about the lyrics she wrote and sang Tuesday. SANG!

    1. I don't know why I'm surprised Sioux sings her own songs. One of these days she will be starring in her own broadway play. "Renewal...peace, quiet, solitude" is going to be my meditative chant from now on. The words alone lower my blood pressure. Merry Christmas, Linda!

  6. I think we all need to slow down and enjoy the season. Merry Christmas to you and your family, Tammy!

    Critter Alley


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