Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Improper Poll: Headlines of Horror

Ten MSN News Headlines that Really, Really Annoy Me: 

1. Anything at all about that little Twilight girl who supposedly cheated on her boyfriend with the married guy who looked way too old for her, how sad the boyfriend is, or what she is wearing that may or may not belong to him or speculation on whether or not they will get back together

2. How—OMG!—other celebrities are super mad at her!

3. Anything whatsoever with the phrase, “baby bump” in it

4. Headlines about celebrity girls and their “wardrobe malfunctions”

5. Headlines that ask people to speculate on who should be a celebrity’s new boyfriend or girlfriend

6. Headlines about girls who apparently have no occupation on earth other than sitting around sporting silicone and obnoxiousness and inspiring inane headlines

7. Three words: Honey Boo Boo.

8. One word: Suri. Or any update having to do with a child or play-by-plays on her custody visitations, bike rides, schools, or what she ate for lunch

9. All news about the exposed naughty bits of British royals. Okay, I have to admit, I’m always initially curious about that one because when I read about royalty exposing themselves, I want to picture them resurrecting the streak or maybe begging for beads at Mardi Gras. But when it turns out that voyeuristic members of the media are capturing sneak shots of them in private, it makes me so disgusted with those publications that I would boycott them if I ever read them in the first place. As an American, I may not be loyal to the British monarchy, but as a human being, I am loyal to basic human rights, such as the right to be naked in private without worry of creepy stalkers and peeping Toms. Ewww.

10. Anything else that would cause Walter Cronkite to roll over in his grave

Are there any headlines that disgust you?


  1. Headlines about celebrities' weight..." ______ Let Themselves Go" (or something similar) or stories about birthday parties (for kids and for adults, like their 32nd birthday--not even a milestone birthday) where hundreds of thousands of dollars was spent. What a waste!

  2. Loved your list, Tammy. The only good news about such headlines is that if those make up the biggest news of the day, I'm not so worried that I can't sleep at night!

    Critter Alley

  3. Totally understand your headline whoas. Hmmm, I don't read the headlines, so I guess I'm safe. Other than passing them in the check out lanes and most of those are ridiculous.

  4. Fake headlines. "Woman 57 Looks 27."

  5. The one that says "celebrities who let themselves go." They show a picture of a celebrity when he/she was 20 and then show a pic of them at the age of 70. Well, duh. Of course they've changed. Doesn't mean the "let themselves go." By the same token, I cringe at the ones that brag about how great older celebrities look when it is obvious they only look that great due to plastic surgery and personal chefs. Show me a celebrity who looks ready for the red carpet after cleaning her own toilet and then MAYBE I'll be impressed.

  6. Yes, every one on your list, plus the fake headline about "one weird trick." Many people love these headlines, and I know who they are voting for in November. Need I say more????

  7. Great list, Tammy.

    Stories about celebrities or comedians talking politics make my head spin.

  8. Sensational headlines about anything, but even worse, local NEWS teasers. "Today will be 82 degrees, tune in at 6 for tomorrow's forecast." i want to throw a shoe at them.


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