Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Stuff from Around My House: Gone Cold

December was going to be silly-Christmas-decorations-month, but we don’t have our tree up. And if you are one of those people who has all of your holiday shopping done, please, please don’t tell me. I am proud merely that I started mine before December this year.

Soooo…I have a Possessed Coffee Thermos. It clicks, groans, shrieks, hums, and makes such an interesting assortment of noises that it’s really pretty entertaining. Oh, I guess the scientific explanation is that the stainless steel outside broke away from the insulated inside, and the two parts expand and contract differently according to temperature changes. But it’s more fun to think of it as possessed.

Adding to that notion is the fact that it also traps water in between the layers when it’s washed. As I drive to work, the thermos adjusts to the temperature of my car. That means that more often than not, The Possessed Coffee Thermos celebrates my arrival at work by letting out a shriek and relieving itself all over someone’s desk. Or my shoes.

I kept this for a shockingly long time only because it was one of those things that I just kept forgetting to replace. I’ve now retired it.  But I have to admit that I miss its entertainment value sometimes.

Certain flaws are necessary for the whole. It would seem strange if old friends lacked certain quirks. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


  1. You always make me laugh! I've heard those groaning mugs, but relieve itself on someone's desk, too funny.

  2. Tammy, you have such a gift for comedic writing! I swear you do! You should submit some of this stuff to some TV sitcoms that lack quality writing! And I agree with Linda about the "relieving itself" line!! And oh...I have a thermal coffee pot thingy that also makes very strange noises....it never occurred to me that it was possessed! Now, I'm realllllly skeered!

  3. Ha! I think the funniest thing is that you continued to use the darn thing even after it became schizophrenic. You're a hoot.

  4. Tee-hee! I hope Santa brings you a new coffee thermos. It might not be as entertaining, but at least you won't have to come up with awkward explantions or carry a towel at all times!


  5. When you say you "retired" it, does that mean you disposed of it? Because if you didn't, you could always consider it your "secret weapon" and place it on the desk of a co-worker you're not fond of and let the thermos work its magic...

  6. Thanks, Linda and Becky! I'm so glad to hear I'm not the only one with a possessed thermos. "Skeered!!" Love it!!

    Lisa, I guess I do like my machinery to have a little...personality. As long as it's a personality that functions!

    Good idea, Pat! Santa probably has non-possessed ones on hand. And Sioux, I laughed so hard that the mouse went all over the screen! You are Ee-vil! I like that!


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