Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Ten Good Things About Getting Old

(Accompanied by garden pictures taken in the past couple of weeks.  The top is viburnum carlesii, and the bottom is passiflora 'Incense.')
1. Your face no longer breaks out. Unless you’re me, that is! But I mean if you’re normal, meaning not me, you probably stop getting zits.
2. The fact that you’re coloring the gray gives you an excuse to change your hair color often.
3. You and your hair have cohabited so long you’ve been forced to get along with each other. You’ve worn it poodle-permed and stick-straight. You’ve had almost every hair length, cut, and color that exists, so you know firsthand whether a certain style will make you look like Betty Boop…or poopy-doop. You even know exactly where to put the perm rods, how long to hold the hair in the curling iron, and which products make it look stringy. You have the home number of that perfect stylist who knows, via some sort of divine telepathy, exactly what cut you need even if you aren’t terribly sure yourself. You’ve had years and years to learn exactly how to subdue, control, and manipulate your hair in all kinds of weather. As a result, you have A LOT fewer bad hair days.
4. Young men no longer do favors for you as an excuse to get your phone number. They do favors for you because you look like their mom. Then they say, “You’re welcome, Ma’am” and go on their way.
5. You can be crabby and people sort of expect it.
6. Nobody heckles or grabs your rear end anymore.
7. Better friendships. Your best friend no longer breaks your plans to spend time with her boyfriend. She breaks her plans with her husband to spend time with you.
8. You can take a crisis better because you’ve been through only too many of them and know the pattern. You’ve learned that you are strong, and that this, too, really shall pass.
9. That whole wisdom thing. What you lose physically, you really do gain emotionally.
10. You can wear what you want because nobody cares. No one looks at your arms or legs, anyway, so you might as well go sleeveless and wear shorts! And make them purple!
“’Tell me one last thing, said Harry. ‘Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?’
Dumbledore beamed at him….’Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?’” J.K. Rowlings, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

8 comments:

  1. Love it. All true. Uhm. wait a minute, my arms and legs are noticeable and not in a good way!And i do have purple shorts. I fugure once everybody gets the initial OMG look, they won't care anymore.
    http://lindaoconnell.blogspot.com

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  2. I loved all of these, too, Tam! I thought I had pretty much thought of all the "getting older" kind of things...but you mentioned some that hadn't really occurred to me. I particularly love Numbers 7 & 9! ...especially: "What you lose physically, you really do gain emotionally." Maybe that will help me to accept the weight that my body seems to think it needs and won't let loose of! :)

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  3. Tammy---Each one of these is soooo accurate. Poodle-permed...Poopy-doop...too funny. The thing about getting old is you don't care when you have a poopy-doop hair day.

    Another advantage...Keep your leg hair unshaved, and you can braid it into designs, and voila! You have permanent grey "tights."

    Also, before I read Linda's comment, I always thought the OMG's I heard were positive, but perhaps they're, uh, not very complimentary? I'll have to contemplate on that...

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  4. Hi Tammy,

    Love them all.

    Wisdom is my favorite advantage of growing old, oh and forgetfulness can be a blessing.
    When I forget what I'm angry about, I figure it must not be important.

    Oh, and no more periods is one I would add.

    Donna V.
    http://donnasbookpub.blogspot.com

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  5. Donna is spot on with that last one.

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  6. Linda, all I care about these days is that I don't end up in "People of WalMart." Pretty much anything else is a-okay with me.

    Thanks, Bec. I can't decide if it's handy or ironic that I accept my imperfections now that there are so many more of them!

    Sioux, I giggled so hard when I read that! And now all over again....

    Donna, that blessing of forgetfulness is such a classic that I am going to add it to my quotations! Hope you don't mind. And that last one is so true--I honestly have a "10 Good Things About Menopause," and that one is numbers 10-20!!

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  7. Hi Tammy - Yes, yes, yes, to all of the above! I'm not sure which one resonated the most because I sat here laughing and nodding all the way through. What would I add? Uh...probably that I live by my Franklin Planner. If I don't write things down it means they are destined not to occur. If I think of something (pick a thing, any thing) and don't write it down---whoosh!---out into the atmosphere and lost forever. Love this post.

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  8. Hi again...got a present for you at my blog. Come & get it! :D

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