Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Silly Show and Tell: Put on Your Nerd Glasses

I bought these magnifying lenses as actual reading glasses, and I don’t think they were even intended as a joke. Even the dog refused to model them. Why I got these, I can’t tell you. Did I need glasses, or what? Oh…right.

But still, I can’t believe I was too blind to notice that they are just butt-ugly. And they’re not even women’s butt-ugly—they are men’s butt-ugly glasses. Nerd-man-glasses. I think the reasoning was that the lenses were nice and big so as not to get in the way of the print, but they are so big that they fall off my face. Although I have known reading glasses to evaporate into thin air, “The Woody Allens” are perennial. Even the gremlins don’t want them, I guess.

I usually use my own pictures and quotations I’ve already collected, but today I specifically looked up Woody Allen quotes. Like those potato chips, I couldn’t have just one:

-Eighty percent of success is showing up.
-Tradition is the illusion of permanence.
-You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
And finally:
-I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.
~Woody Allen


  1. It looks like you could start a fire with those glasses. Catch the sunlight in the right way, and aim the ray towards a pile of papers... Perhaps a pile of ready-to-discard first drafts?

  2. Tammy, you could NEVER look like Woody Allen, but he's proof that you don't have to be a classic beauty to be loved by many!! I think you should've included a pic of your birthday glasses....but ahhh, I just realized I haven't sent them to you yet!! I will asap!!

  3. Sioux, what a creative use for them!! Love it!!

    Becky, look at the previous post! ;)

  4. Hi Tammy,
    When I worked for the DOD, the Marines called those type of glasses BCs, as in birth control. Instant turn-offs.

  5. Those look like Buddy Holly or army issue glasses. They give me a headache looking at them. Dollar store has a great selection of magnifiers. Buy a pair for each room of the house like I do.

  6. Oh, DUH!! Do I ever feel dumb!! I somehow missed that post!

  7. Well...uh...you know, it would take a very secure woman to wear those glasses. Yeah...*sigh* that's all I've got.

    In your defense, you were probably nursing a really bad headache that day...yeah, that's it! A headache! And it hurt so bad you couldn't see, right? Yeah, that's it. You couldn't see. And THAT's how you ended up with those glasses!

    Whew. Okay. Got you out of all responsibility for that choice. That's what friends are for. :D

  8. Donna, I love it! They are now the BCs!

    Linda, I DID buy a pair for every room--this is what's left!!! The others aren't exactly what you'd call good looking, so I am clueless about what's happening to them all!

    Lisa, you ARE a real friend for making excuses for me!! :)


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