Writing is like being able to put life into a snow globe. It takes the things that are too big and scary and reduces them into a form that I can put away when I want and look at from a distance. It also takes all that’s good in life and captures it into something I can take out when I want and look at close up and keep forever. It makes the bad things into something I can hold…and the good things into something I can hold onto. Both help so much that I need that little souvenir of life.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Caught in the Act

It cried out again and again, but the noise fell on deaf ears until at last, it was silenced.

“Who, me?” the killer seemed to say, with the gruesome fluff of the gored, dismembered, and disemsqueakered Christmas present strewn about him in cottony abandon. The court jester colors were ironically unfestive; the party was over before we ever even had a chance to name this one. No more will it live with Crunchy Duck, Thing-Formerly-Known-As-Flamingo, Road Kill Chicken, Virus Model, Ropey, Scary Bunny, Chanukah Thing or the legendary Dead Precious (a.k.a. Precious #4). Not to mention about half a dozen tennis balls, one pitted like an olive.

But the reason Santa brought that one was because it had six—yes, six—squeakers. It will live in infamy as a transplant donor.

And here’s a Dave Barry thing. Wouldn’t Dead Precious be an awesome name for a band?

So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become
~“Animal I Have Become” by Three Days Grace


  1. OMG! Buddy's face is hilarious! It's definitely a "who, me?" innocent look, if I ever saw one! You are, my dear Tammy, on top of your comedic game, as always!! Rock On!!

  2. Isn't it funny how some dogs feel it their duty to defluff stuffed animals? My son's dog is notorious for that. After he visits, I always need to buy Indy new squeakies.

  3. Too funny. You are hilarious. By the way, why do some dogs do this? I had one out of four who did. Maybe it's like hearing a voice you can't stand and wanting to choke the sound right out of the person.

  4. I've wondered why he does it, too. And it's only certain toys. Love your explanation, Linda, but when I said the sound falls on deaf ears, I meant literally! Buddy is almost stone deaf these days.


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